Honest, Constructive, Critiques from Da Grrlzz!
Well I try to live life without regrets - I grow through every cringe-worthy decision I've made, though there is scattered scar tissue. That being said, I wanted to offer answerzz to the QOW so here goes …First, I wish I had played team sports growing up. When I was 10 I almost played district soccer; I liked it, was pretty good & had a friend on the team. But my mom & I overslept the day of registration & gave up on the idea. I know that if I really pushed for it, they probably would've taken me anyway, but I guess I liked my free time too much. Years later, during 7th grade, we were doing a basketball unit in PE; I was quite good (for a non-player). Good enough to make the "B" team, which was awesome for non-athletic me! Peeps in the class asked if I was going out for upcoming tryouts. BUT I was the Vice President of Drama Club, acting was my LIFE back then, I acted in school (snagged the leads in all school plays for 2 yrs much to people's chagrin) as well as did stuff outside of school. "Theatre was my life" (said dramatically) - to push that aside for basketball wasn't an option. I fell out of love w/ acting during college so sometimes I wish I was more well rounded growing up & played sports! Ah the roads not taken…The other thing I'd undo is how I treated my parents when I was a teen. My immediate family is very loving & close. But I was the last kid left at home (nearest sib being 6 yrs older), was resentful of being an "only child w/ siblings" & was a counterculture misfit anyway, so my teen rebellion was intense. I know teens get difficult, but I hate some of the things I did, said & wrote in my journals. I was a relatively good precocious kid that excelled at school & activities but was a horror to my parents at times - ungrateful, arrogant, unempathetic; my parents had nuthin but love for me, though their communications skills needed improvement (so did mine!). Who was I to think I knew more about Real Life than my parents, who had survived so much beyond the scope of my understanding?? I grew up thankfully, & now never miss I chance to tell my parents I love & appreciate them. When I graduated from college, I gave THEM a present just to thank them for their generosity & love. They're cool, they know I was just going through I phase back then & that I always loved them. But when I remember some of the things I did as a teen, I shudder.
I don't have many regrets. There are some things I'm not too happy with, but I try to think that these things were lessons in life that help form who I am. The one thing that I do regret is something sort of silly. When I was a little girl my mother's side of the family all went to story book land. This was the only time in my life I remember everyone on that side of the family being together. Infact, this was the only time I had ever met my one uncle. Being a little kid I wanted to do everything and was super excited. I didn't care about or understand the importance of "family time". Well, at the end of the night everyone was going to take a ride on the trolley as a family, but I was in line to ride a teacup ride and was not concerned with a silly trolley. When I got off the ride everyone was back from the trolley and I realized that I had missed it. It didn't hit me until years later that this would be the last chance I would ever have to do something as a family with my mothers side of the family. Infact, I still don't have contact with any of them except one uncle. At some point I started having strange nightmares about missing that trolley. Eventually they stopped, but I still wish that I had gone on that trolley.
Chronilogically my first regret is almost exactly the same as Sharons. I too was a rebellious teenager with parents who lacked some communication skills, but it would be nice to go back and smack myself around a little bit! I too thought I knew it all, was ungrateful and downright nasty at times but have since grown extremely close to my mom. My dad did get to see me starting to make a better life for myself and was very proud of me before he passed away but I really wish I could have a re-do for those years with the knowledge I have today.Secondly and the most difficult for me to this day is the time period when I left my ex. Mental abuse can be so hurtful and scarring but those are scars nobody ever will see with their eyes. Sometimes its even difficult for the victim to notice until well after the brain washing has stopped. I thought that by giving him primary residence I was doing what was best for my girls, but I made that decision after years of mental beat downs. I know that you arent supposed to beat yourself up over mistakes, but when they affect other people, the ones you care about the most in life, its really hard not to do.In my best Forrest Gump voice:Thats all I have to say about that.
What value is there dwelling on the impossible... undoing something. It's the old "if you could go back in time...what would you change?". The list is endless and depressing. I would "undo" school, jobs, boyfriends, friends, clothes, nevermind the list is too long.If it was to undo just one thing...I would UNDO be horseless. I should have somehow, someway, figured out how to have a HORSE!
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